Garlic Toast...

Keith and I give each other what you might call an "allowance". It's fun money- to buy things we need or want through the week that aren't groceries, gas or bills. I tend to use mine to take the kids out to eat for lunch or to buy ice cream or some other treat. Today it was Jason's Deli.

We love Jason's Deli. Courtney loves it because of the soft serve ice cream machine. Today I went in with a plan. Simple. Masterful. Awesome. It went something like this: "I will order something that takes 5 or more minutes to make. That way I can get my drink, get the kids' muffins, straws, extra spoons and everything else, find a table and get seated just in time for them to find my little red #63 and bring a tray of goodness to us." Perfect! I usually don't attempt such an endeavor without Keith. We have those places we go just the three of us (easy places- like McDonald's), then there are places I don't dare go without an extra set of eyes and another pair of hands. Jason's Deli is usually a two-parent venue because we always end up going back to the salad bar for more muffins, getting refills and taking Courtney to get ice cream at the end.

As I headed toward the fountain drinks, Matthew in the high chair (thank goodness for wheels!) and Courtney tugging behind me, an employee approached us and asked for our number. Our food was ready. What?!?! I panicked in my thoughts. This isn't part of the plan! I don't even have a drink- or a straw! Do I really need a straw? I can go without one this time. Oh, but we don't even have a table! It went on like this for what seemed like minutes but in reality was only a split second (or two). The kind woman offered to carry our food to the table. YES! Thank you!

I quickly grabbed a drink and found a table. As we sat down, my heart was still racing. I tried to make things work, but I really needed that trip to the salad bar if I were going to get through this meal. Since there were no booths open I couldn't nurse- which meant Matthew would be eating graham crackers and small bites from my plate. I wasn't thinking clearly, so I raced to the salad bar, backwards, with my eyes on the kids and grabbed all I needed in record time. I sat down at the table and took a deep breath. Courtney ate quietly and Matthew ate with his feet on the table. *sigh*

As lunch progressed, I was still a little frazzled. Not to mention I was dressed in a ball cap and T-shirt after a good workout this morning. It seemed that everyone else there had just been in church by the way they were dressed. I felt out of place. After squashing the comparison bug with my bare hand, I decided to enjoy lunch with my kids. I could overhear the couple next to us as they watched Matthew eat crackers. They thought he was so cute- SCORE! Then Courtney dropped a muffin. She went down to get it- SCORE AGAIN! What a big girl, I thought. I've taught her well. She dropped something and now she's gone to pick it up. Oh, she picked up the muffin alright- and put it in her mouth! The man next to me laughed out loud. I could have died. I made her discretely spit it out. Yuck. The couple left soon after- possibly sickened at the sight of a child spitting a gingerbread muffin into her mother's hand. Oh well. Back to enjoying lunch.

Still a little frazzled.

I took Courtney and Matthew to the ice cream machine for desert. Why didn't I think of this at salad-bar time? I could have just taken them with me! Duh! Courtney loved her ice cream. Matthew had a few bites as well. He started grabbing for other food and found a piece of garlic toast- you know, the hard, crispy crouton-textured kind. I didn't think he could bite any off, so I let him try it.

WHOA! What a face! Matthew clearly thought it was bitter. The man at the table next to us (new couple this time) laughed out loud- HARD! He obviously thought it was hilarious, as did Courtney and I. Matthew caught on quickly and smiled. He took another bite, made a bitter face and laughed. It was a game now (and SO cute!) The rest of lunch was much more enjoyable. My frazzledacity melted away.

I got to thinking on the way home. I had such a bitter attitude through more than half of our lunch. My circumstances were not bad at all, but I handled them wrongly in my heart. I thought of Matthew. That toast was obviously bitter to his taste, but he handled it with joy. That joy was contagious. It even spread to the table next to us. It made that guy's day- and then I could hear him telling his family about it. I thought, We all get handed bitter situations in life. I guess the important thing really is how we handle them. If I want to be a blessing to others, I should handle those bitter times with joy.

(I got a little video on my phone while at Jason's Deli)

And one more thing: As I left, I put the cracker into my purse, hoping to get his cute little garlic toast face on video once we got home (since my phone camera wasn't very clear)- but he didn't make the bitter face. He actually looked as if he enjoyed the cracker. It reminded me of something Beth Moore said in a video about the little inconveniences and annoyances in our lives. They can seem so bitter at the time and we can handle them in a way that brings us (and everyone around us) down. We soon lose sight of eternity. We lose perspective. But if we handle these situations well, if we look at them through God's eyes, we learn to live with them while praising God. I have come to realize that many of the little irritations in my life are put there to teach me something. They mold my character. They reveal my sin. They may not be caused by God, but they are definitely used by God. Oh, how I long to be changed and shaped- molded and worked out until all of the rough places in my soul are smooth. I suppose that's what sanctification is all about. I've already been saved by God's grace. Now He's working on smoothing out my soul. Garlic toast. Heavenly sandpaper. Whatever you want to call it, as bitter as it is to swallow, I know I need it if I'm to be molded more and more into the image of Christ.