I have to admit: Sometimes I feel like a really bad mom. I'm sure we all do from time to time. Yesterday was one of those days. I'll spare you the details and just let you know that my 5 yr old thinks she's 30 and my toddler is getting his canines in. (Some of you are laughing to yourselves because you know JUST how it feels!)
Long story short, when I went to bed last night I felt so drained. I was emotionally spent. I had given and given and given, only to be met with complaints, tears, and stinky attitudes from my children. I kept thinking of 2 Corinthians 12:15, which says, "I will gladly spend myself and all I have for you, even though it seems that the more I love you, the less you love me." Have you ever felt that way? Now I know my children don't love me any less than they did yesterday, but sometimes it feels like the more we moms give, the less we're appreciated. Naturally, I was also bombarded with negative thoughts throughout the day, which I'm sure came from the devil as they were meant to get me off-focus from what God has called me to do: to be a loving mother to these two beautiful children, even on the hard days.
(That's when we need to work on the first part of that verse: Gladly spending ourselves and all we have for those God has entrusted to us, namely our children.)
But in the midst of all of the hardships, it's all worth it. Motherhood is so discouraging at times, but it's worth it. It's lonely, but worth it. Frustrating, but worth it. Messy, but worth it. How do I know that? Because I know from the Bible and from experience that God is with me and that He has a greater purpose for my kids than I do. I know that the processes He leads us moms through is a good one- it cleans out all of the selfishness, pride and bad habits. I know that He sees me. I know that He watches as I fold the laundry for the ump-teenth time and I hear Him encouraging me. Sometimes it's so quiet and gentle- just thoughts running through my head, or Bible verses coming to mind. Other times, it's bold and obvious.
I heard God whisper some reassuring words as I folded laundry yesterday, then my husband took time to tell me how much he believes in me. I went to bed feeling better, but still lacked confidence to start the day this morning. So, as we were running errands today God took time to make sure I got the extra encouragement I needed to renew my perspective.
My children were not on their best behavior, nor were they acting like little monkeys in the grocery store. We were just shopping. Everything was normal. As I rounded a corner, a man looked up and said with enthusiasm, "You have inCREDible children!" I thanked him, wondering what on earth he was talking about. In the past 5 minutes I hadn't heard a "yes ma'am" a "please" or an "excuse me." I did however have to swat a hand, apologize to the victim of a shopping cart drive-by and stop a bit of begging.
The man leaned forward and corrected me, saying, "It's in their spirits."
BAM! It hit me. God was speaking through that man to remind me that He is at work in their lives even when I don't see it. Even when they're being ungrateful. Even when they're whining. God is working. God sees the stuff I can't. So often I pay more attention to their behavior than their hearts- but as 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
I was blown away. I decided to take the kids to Wendy's and think about this for a while. While we were eating, a woman asked how old Matthew was. She then went on to pour out encouragements to me, saying "I don't know what you're doing, but whatever it is, keep doing it!" She called my kids things like "awesome" and "so good." That was a far cry from what I wanted to call them yesterday!
Time to repent. Time to praise God. Time to hug my kids and climb out of the rut with them clinging to my back. (Because don't you realize that our being in a rut doesn't just effect us- it effects everyone around us?)
It's amazing what a kind word can do to a weary and anxious heart. I wonder how I'd be feeling right now if those strangers had kept their thoughts to themselves? They had no idea I was struggling. It's not like I was wearing a T-shirt that said "Hug Me- I'm Discouraged!" or "I'm with Cranky ==>."
Have you been meaning to say something to someone that could potentially lift them up? Say it! You may never know what your co-workers, neighbors or even family members are going through when you're not around. A kind word doesn't have to be elaborate or eloquent... just from the heart.
Remember Hebrews 3:13 today: "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today,' so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness." You never know who has been struggling to get free from the deceitfulness of sin. Your kind word may be just what it takes to soften their heart again toward the Lord.
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