Coffee. I love it. I love it dark, smooth, sweet and FAST. Several years ago my mom gave me one of those amazing machines that makes a perfect cup of coffee at the push of a button. As I reached for my mug today I thought about some parenting struggles I've been facing lately.
I love fast coffee.
I love coffee.
I love my children.
I wish my children were as fast as coffee.
Let me clarify. My children, some would argue, ARE as fast as coffee- they run circles through my house as if someone slipped a little espresso into their Carnation Instant Breakfast! But that's not what I meant.
These days I can push or tap a button for almost anything.
Want coffee?
Wondering what the weather will be? *TAP*
Need cash fast? *ENTER PIN*
Want your kids to stop arguing and treat each other with love & respect?
It doesn't work that way.
Sometimes I expect my kids to straighten up with one word. Usually, they do. In our house, that word is "Two". That's because if I get to three they get a consequence, and I shouldn't have to say "one". But all that does is get their attention to temporarily straighten them up. It doesn't reach their hearts, only their behavior.
No, parenting is a much slower, much more involved process.
Like Ketchup.
Do you remember the old Heinz 57 commercials? I am sure they're on YouTube if you look. The one that stands out to me is when a guy put a ketchup bottle on the top of a skyscraper, ran down several flights of stairs (it took FOREVER), held out his burger and still had to wait for the ketchup to land on the bun.
That's parenthood.
You set it up. You work hard. You hold out the target and you hope with all of your heart that the lesson lands on their hearts.
No buttons.
No quick fixes.
No CTRL ALT DELETE in the middle of a temper tantrum.
It can be exhausting work, but so, so worth it. If I were honest I would tell you that most days I don't feel much like waiting around for lessons to sink into their tiny hearts. But I love them with everything in me, and I want to do all that I can to help them become amazing adults who love God and love people and use their talents and personalities to make the world a better place.
And so today I am writing a reminder to myself. Be intentional. Set up the lessons. Take advantage of teaching moments and try not to be so frustrated when the push-button fixes don't work.
I have a sticky note on my refrigerator that I read every day. On it I wrote, "You are cultivating a culture within your family. Be intentional." It serves as a reminder that the lessons I try to teach my children are not push-button, quick-as-coffee lessons. They are slow like ketchup. They are hard. They are worth it. And when they finally land on their hearts, when our children finally grab hold of those lessons; like the man who took a bite of his burger and smiled with pure delight, the results are incredible.
