I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but I remember my mom always telling me that God was real and the Bible was true. These two truths led me to seek Him when I was about 9 years old. My family went through a difficult time, and somehow in the midst of it I felt God drawing me to Himself. I decided to read the Bible and pray. It was at this time that I encountered the Living God for the first time.
I was away from home for a short time and felt alone and scared. I had just been in a cussing-fight with a girl I knew. I wasn't one to cuss on a regular basis- I tried to be the "good girl" most days... but she had pushed me to the limit. I went to my room and prayed through my tears. Suddenly, I felt a bright presence in my room and heard God's voice with the ears of my heart. He kindly spoke a reprimand and encouragement to me. It rocked me to the core and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was real and He loved me.
My family's dark season came to a close and life resumed as normal. I remembered God but didn't seek Him like before. Then, when I was in 7th grade, He called me back to Himself. An elderly neighbor asked my brothers and me to go to church with him. He helped the youth group and had a grand-daughter who was one year older than me. I declined, but watched as my youngest brother went to church. I was ashamed and fearful- ashamed that I had not sought God after He helped me through such a hard time, and fearful of what others would think of me. I was insecure and found my worth in doing homework and staying out of trouble. I was "the good girl". But I knew I wasn't all that good on the inside. I was just good at keeping up appearances.
My brother continued to go to church, but had trouble sitting still during the services. He asked me one day to come with him to help him sit still. Of course, being the oldest (and the good one) I agreed. My pride led me to the church-house that day. I was riveted by the message. I got involved in the youth group and started attending regularly. The songs we sang at youth were what drew me each week. I was blown away that God could love me. I thought, "Wow, He's so holy and good, yet He lets us come to Him and sing these songs that don't even begin to do Him justice!" I got involved in Acteens, a missions organization for teen girls. Lock-ins and Discipleship Events followed, changing my heart little by little, and soon I knew what I had to do.
One Sunday morning during worship I felt compelled to go to the front of the church during the alter call to accept Christ as my Savior. I was too scared, so I ran to the bathroom instead. I prayed that God would save me there in that little stall, crying my eyes out at the realization of His love and forgiveness. The next Sunday I did it again... and the Sunday after that! The next week, as I was lying in my bed one night, I prayed that God would tell me if I was really saved or not. I knew I had "said the sinner's prayer", but I wasn't sure if it worked. As I was praying, that same bright presence that I had known so many years ago showed up again. I felt God's peace in such a tangible way! I knew then that I had, indeed, been saved.
This was only the beginning of a beautiful relationship. God has proven Himself faithful and present to me countless times. He has done miracles in my life- healed my heart from that dark time in my family's life, brought physical healing to my mom and myself, and changed my heart and mind in ways I never could have imagined. I am eternally grateful to Him for all He has done, and I try to the best of my ability to honor Him with my life. I mess up daily and lean heavily on His grace, but I rest assured knowing that nothing can separate me from His love.
I would love to tell you more and share with you how you can have that same peace & assurance in your heart that you are right with God. Please feel free to contact me!
