Sweet Dreams... eventually.

(At our house, chasing sleep is like chasing a bubble... hope it doesn't pop before you catch it!!)

I feel refreshed after a one-hour nap. Courtney is still sleeping. WOO-HOO! You might say... but wait, there's more. the events leading up to the nap were all but celebratory. It took a full two hours to get Courtney to stay in her bed long enough to fall asleep.

I knew she was tired. She got up at 6am (she usually sleeps until about 8:30 am). We had a busy morning- dentist's office, library, lunch. During lunch she yawned repeatedly, her little eyes were red and puffy and she held her head up with one hand while she ate with the other. She was obviously tired. So I prepared her for nap time. I explained what we were going to do. I drew the dark curtains and put her in bed. I put on my PJ's, went back to tuck her in (as I had promised) and then went to my bed. She stayed put for about 15 minutes... and then it began.

Now I have to interject here to say this is all my fault. She inherited sleeplessness from me. Every night my husband falls asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow, while I lie awake for 40 minutes or more, eyes closed tight, still as I can be, hoping to fall to sleep. I know how hard it is for some people to get to sleep , and I pity my princess for that. She's been this way since the day she was born. I remember rocking and holding and nursing her, as she rubbed her little tear-filled eyes but just wouldn't give it up. We did everything we could to "sleep train" her, and it seemed to work for a while; but it seems that now, as she's about to turn 3, we're going to have to do it all again.

For the next 2 hours she was in my room every 10-20 minutes. First she couldn't find a small toy she wanted. Then she wanted to say goodnight again... and so on and so forth. We don't usually have naptime during the day (except on days like today when it's absolutely necessary). However, this battle is a frequent event at bedtime around our house.
This has been going on for over 6 months now. She was sleeping well in her bed at our old house. The transition from crib to big-girl bed was AWESOME. Then we moved, and she slept in the pack and play for about 3 months. When we moved again she went back to the big-girl bed and it's been a nightmare ever since. We've tried dozens of techniques from friends, family and professionals. We've pushed through consistently in each attempt. It seems that when we finally settle on something that works she changes and it no longer phases her. We thought we had it down last week when she went to bed without a fuss almost all week long and then BANG! This week we're back to square one.

Mostly today I'm just venting as I'm tired of the struggle. I don't get it. She's so easy to discipline in every other area of life! It's just this one thing that she can't seem to get down. I asked her once why she didn't want to go to bed and she said (in her broken 2-yr-old language) that she didn't want to be separated from the rest of the family. That makes sense. Time-outs have always been extremely efficient for her because she hates being isolated. Does she just feel isolated at bedtime? We have a routine in place and shower her with love and praise, stories and smiles. Am I missing something here? Or is it just the fact that it takes so long for her to fall to sleep; is she getting bored? Is she getting restless because it's not happening quick enough? I need prayer. I need wisdom. Is this something she'll grow out of, or will we still struggle with her when she's 5,6,7,8? I refuse to throw in the towel on this.

I have a few more ideas up my sleeve that we'll try in the coming weeks. I welcome comments. I welcome prayers. What worked for your troubled-sleeper? How did you survive the greuling task of training your child(ren)? Will I ever get through this?

Warren Buffet

"The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being." - Warren Buffet

I saw this online today and just had to share. I couldn't believe it! When asked about the best advice he ever received, Warren Buffet spoke of his father's unconditional love- an ACTION- not mere words. For those who don't know, Warren Buffet is an extremely prosperous business man, widely respected by the business and financial communities. He is quite wealthy and by our American culture's standards he is one of the most successful men alive. I find it quite interesting that his greatest advice has nothing to do with stocks or money... but unconditional love.

This is exactly my point for this blog: "Mama is a verb". Being a great parent isn't about shelling out advice at every turn, although we feel we have plenty to give! It's about living the advice we give our children. It's about being a great example, even through our mistakes. Great parenthood is rooted in unconditional love.

I'm reading a book with a group of awesome ladies right now called "Parenting the Way God Parents" by Katherine Koonce. She writes of how God's method of parenting is the perfect example for us as parents. Who better to look to for unconditional love than God Himself, who by definition in 1 John 4:16 "IS LOVE"? We see that love throughout scripture. I've seen it throughout my life in the way God deals with me. I don't know where Warren Buffet stands with God, but he has learned an important lesson that I believe God wants us all to learn: when we love our children unconditionally, as God loves us unconditionally, "it's going to make for a better human being," and not just our kids, but us, our communities, and our nation as well.

You can see the video here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20100708/bs_yblog_upshot/buffett-recounts-the-best-advice-hes-ever-received

Sowing with a Cheerful Heart

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." ~ 2 Corinthians 9:6-8

I've read this verse a hundred times, but this morning it hit me in a new way. I thought of it in the context of my life right now. I am a stay-at-home mom, 35 1/2 weeks pregnant, with an energetic daughter who will be 3 at the end of the month.

Lately, everyday tasks have become difficult for me (physically). I have a tough time walking from the car into the grocery store. I am exhausted after vacuuming just one room. Bending over to pick up toys or bits of macaroni & cheese after lunch... well, let's just say it's not the easiest thing to do! Even playing with Courtney has become a challenge. I have been somewhat discouraged at times because I feel as if I can't do anything that I want to do- at least not to the fullness that I hope for. Sometimes I feel like I can't physically give 100% to my family. My heart is in it, but I just can't seem to get all the laundry done or play the way I used to. As a task-oriented person, this is really tough for me. And then I read this verse.

I realized that sowing generously isn't just about the practical things I do, like laundry or running errands. Sowing includes the prayers I pray, the time I spend encouraging my family, and the emotional, mental and spiritual effort I exert in taking care of them. For some of you this is just common sense. For me, a task-oriented, results-seeking, evaluation-motivated person, well, it's a little tougher.

The question is not "Am I an abundant giver at this point in my life?" but "Am I a cheerful giver at this point in my life?" Some days more than others, I have to admit.

Now, I believe that abundant giving will spring from cheerful giving- don't get me wrong here... but it's difficult for me to give physically in abundance at this point. I can, however, still give cheerfully. I can (as I tell Courtney a thousand times every day) "keep a  happy heart" while I do one load of laundry, instead of grumbling that I didn't get all 3 loads done. I can cheerfully unload the dishwasher. I can cheerfully watch my little girl dance in the living room. I can cheerfully... well, you get the point. It's all in my heart-attitude.

And then there's the last part of this scripture: "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." (v.8) God gives me grace. He showers me with grace and everything that I need so that I may abound in every good thing that He asks me to do. It's easy to feel like I'm just surviving through these last few weeks of pregnancy, but that's not God's plan for me. He came so I may have abundant life (John 10:10). Webster defines abundance as "marked by great plenty" or "amply supplied". I realized this morning that I really do have all that I need to glorify God. I just have to let Him reshape my thinking. For some reason I have in my mind a list of things I can do to glorify God. Most of those things aren't physically possible right now. So I'm left asking God, "What now? What can I do?" And I feel like God is replying: "Don't ask 'what can I do,' but rather, 'what can I be?'" I can be like Christ. I can be an attentive mom. I can be a supportive wife. I can be a good friend. Those things don't require a mile long to-do list. They simply require a cheerful heart and lots of grace.