Fall is in the air...

That's right! FALL!! Ok, so officially we still have about two weeks till the first day of fall, but here in NW Arkansas the leaves have started to change, I've got my Autumn Leaves plug-ins from B&BW, and the windows have been open nearly every day this week. I heart fall. I also heart being crafty... so I thought I'd share my latest project with you all:

TADAAAA!!

Ok, so it's nothing fancy, but I love it! I had this picture holder "thingy" from Pier 1 already. I used pipe cleaners to twisty-tie some pine cones to the center. Then I found some old tiles in our garage, made a "Be Thankful" tile and traced the kids' handprints:

I used Sharpie permanent pens & markers to decorate, then I attached a pipe cleaner to the back using duct tape and super glue (um, not sure how long that will last, but here's hoping!). Then I cut out little leaves from card stock, decorated a few with the Sharpie pen, and wrote things we're thankful for. I also added pictures from this time last year along the top to remind us of how our family has grown over the last year.

All in all it took about an hour to complete- most of that time was spent trying to trace my one-year old's hand, haha! Super simple. Makes me want to decorate the rest of my house! My hope is that this will inspire someone out there to create their own fall-ish project. Remember, it doesn't have to be perfect- it just has to be from the heart:)

Killing Flies...

"Courtney!" I called from the kitchen, "I need you to go out to the car and get your cheeseburger. Come and put it on the kitchen table. Make sure to close the door behind you." My four year old ran out to the car and grabbed what was left of her Happy Meal. I gave my one year old a banana, quickly put the peel on the table and continued running through the house emptying my arms after a morning out. Sippy cups, shoes, purse. Ah, finally. I thought. It's all put away. I returned to the kitchen and bumped the table with my hip as I passed. Suddenly a swarm of flies flew up from the banana peel, filling my dining room. Where did those come from?!? I looked toward the door that led to the garage- yep, open. Flies still streaming in. (Okay, okay. That's an exaggeration- but I did see one fly come through, not to mention those on the table.)

I ran for the fly swatter and began killing the little boogers. SMACK! "One!" ... SMACK!! "Two! Where is that other one??" I continued counting as I killed the flies. I was angry. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I was so tired? Maybe because this happens nearly every day? Nevertheless, I had had it, and killing them was like an outlet for my angst. "FIVE! SIX!! HA!" I worked my way up to number eight (not an exaggeration) and started hunting the last two.

Courtney lay in the floor with her newest McDonald's treasure and asked, "Mama, why are you counting them?" 

Hmmm. Why was I counting them? I know why: because in my mind each fly represented one more reason why she should have closed the door behind her. Here I was, fly-swatting and counting every right I had to be angry. Ooooh. I sensed a lesson coming.

Now, if I were to step back and look at this objectively, I could see that leaving the door open, while frustrating for me, was a genuine mistake on her part. She had her hands full and was so distracted by her new light-up toy that she simply forgot to shut the door. Not to mention she's only four. Ok, so in my right mind I would have just made her go shut it. Maybe time out or something small if I felt she needed it. Unfortunately, I was not in my right mind. I was in my sleepy, task-centered, feed the baby so he will stop screaming mind. So I started counting the flies.

(For the sake of this post, "flies" are the consequences of someone else's actions. We didn't ask for them, they just showed up. Sometimes they can buzz around for quite some time and we don't even notice them. Other times they're right up in our faces, crawling on our food and interrupting our lives.) 

I thought of the times I've done this on a larger scale to others in my life. Have you ever counted flies? Say a person cut you off. Instead of letting it go, blessing them and continuing on your way, you just start counting all of the ways they ruined your day. I have. What about a failed relationship? Yep. A conversation gone south? Yes. I've counted flies more times than I would like to admit.

What about with my kids? I counted flies when my oldest woke the baby, spilled the juice, left the garage door open. And 9 times out of 10 she was just being a kid. In fact, I even counted flies when my son was a newborn and would wake up every couple of hours to eat. *Sheesh!* 

People don't deserve our grudges.

You know, the thing about flies is that they need to be killed. If not, then they multiply- quickly. They bother everyone around. They are a pest- a nuisance- and if you ask me, they're just plain gross. But if you kill a fly and count it, then you choose not to forget it... so in essence, it lives on. You grant that fly eternal life in your psyche simply by choosing to count it. Same with our proverbial flies. If you choose to simply deal with the consequences of another person's actions and kill it in your own mind, it's gone. Forgive and forget.

(Now, hear me out that I realize there are much more dangerous consequences to some people's behavior- please seek help if you feel threatened in any way. I'm focusing this post more on the little day-to-day things.)

I heard someone say once that if you point a finger at someone there are always three fingers pointing right back at you (go ahead, point and see for yourself). Let's choose today to walk in forgiveness and let things go, instead of holding bitter grudges towards the people in our lives who leave the door open to those gross, little winged boogers. Kill the flies and move on. They (esp. the bitterness that surrounds them) don't deserve to live in our hearts. That place is reserved for God, family, flowers, butterflies and love. Why let a nasty old fly buzz around and throw up on your soul every time he lands?

God, can you right-side-out my blue jeans?

My four year old is working her way through a very frustrating season of life. She wants so desperately to do things on her own, but she still requires help. Nearly every day we encounter the same scenario: I'll be in the kitchen and I'll hear her from the hall. She grunts and growls as she tries to "right-side-out" her jeans so she can put them on. I can hear her tones ranging from self-pity to all-out anger. She pulls the legs and twists the pants into an even bigger knot than she started with. Eventually she can't even tell what parts are inside out vs. right-side out. I learned a long time ago that it is not wise to interrupt when she is focused on getting something done alone. I'm almost always met with "I'll do it myself!" Any help I offer at that point is useless and will be rejected. With my child, at least, the best thing to do is wait for her to come to me. She won't ask for help until she is absolutely certain that she has exhausted every other resource at her disposal. More times than not, this turns into a fit that needs to be disciplined. *Sigh* Sometimes I think, "If she had just come to me in the first place she wouldn't be red-faced and teary-eyed, standing in the kitchen completely discouraged. I was so willing to help. We could have worked on it together and saved a lot of time and frustration if she had only come to me."


I was reading in Isaiah 30 today. In this chapter, the Israelites had a similar attitude. They didn't want to hear what God had to say. In fact, they told the prophets to tell them lies because they were tired of hearing all of the "gloom and doom" (a.k.a. consequences for their behavior). What they were really struggling with here was their refusal to submit to God. They didn't want to change. They didn't want His help. They wanted to do things their own way. God warned them that this attitude would get them into trouble, but they didn't seem to care (or didn't seem to believe Him- I'm not sure which). Bottom line: they refused to run to God for help.

So what did God say? Well, after being quite clear about the consequences, Isaiah 30:18 says this:

"So the LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help."

What? God is going to wait for me? He wants me to come to Him?? He wants to help me? Let's look at a few more verses:

Jeremiah 29:13a says "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me..."

Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble."

James 4:8a says "Come close to God and he will come close to you..."

Hebrews 11:6 says "A man cannot please God unless he has faith. Anyone who comes to God must believe that He is. That one must also know that God gives what is promised to the one who keeps on looking for Him."


It just begs the question: are some of the struggles in our lives amplified by the fact that instead of running to God to right-side them out we're pulling on the ends and just making a bigger mess? Are we looking for God in our struggles? Seeking him wholeheartedly? Or are we trying to do it ourselves? The LORD is waiting patiently to show us His faithfulness and compassion. Let's just get past our pride and run to Him for help today.

Happy Tears...

As my four year old came out of her room this morning, hair in a tangled mess and rubbing her eyes, she started to complain (as always) that the sun coming through the kitchen window was too bright. I interrupted her with great news: "Guess what today is? It's the day we meet your new pre-K teacher!!" Her attitude changed in an instant and the sun no longer bothered her wide eyes as she danced around the dining room chairs.

We quickly got dressed, had breakfast and brushed our teeth, then set out to the first day of a new chapter in our lives. I was fine until we turned left at the stop sign and I started to ask Courtney if she was excited about visiting her new school. Before I could finish the question, my voice cracked and my eyes welled up with tears. I couldn't help it! A few minutes later, my husband called to tell me he would meet us there, and I cried to him, too. Courtney piped up from the backseat: "Mama, make sure to try REALLY hard not to cry." I had to laugh at that point because I wondered if she was saying it through a lens of compassion or embarrassment? After all, we had already had a talk about the difference between happy tears and sad tears a few days before. 

I remember bits and pieces of that conversation, something like "I'm just so happy that you've grown into such a big girl and you'll be going to school." 

"Well," she replied, "You shouldn't cry. You should just be happy that Matthew is going to be at home with you." That's my little girl- always an answer for everything. 

Before you start feeling sorry for me, however, I have to clarify that school will only be two morning per week- about 6 hours total time that she will be in the care of Mrs. "T" (whom I loved when I met today). After meeting the staff and the class pets, I am confident that we made the right choice and so happy for my little girl. We went to parent orientation (props to my hubs for taking off work to come!). I was so blessed to see that Courtney's name was all over the classroom- it made me feel good to see someone taking time to make her feel special. Mrs "T" explained curriculum, snacks, parties, field trips and discipline. One thing she said caught and kept my attention. I could hardly concentrate on anything else for the rest of the meeting. Mrs. T said very plainly: "Our goal in this class is to get them ready for Kindergarten and to teach them to be independent."

INDEPENDENT

I'm not sure I'm ready for my four year old to be independent. 

In the bathroom? Sure. At chore time? Yes, please!

But all I could think about was something I had heard several years ago (I can't remember where): "From the time a child is conceived, it is growing up and away from its reliance on its parents." *WHAAH!* I know it's true, but sometimes I'm just not sure I want it to happen. Think about it: crawling, walking, learning to do things on their own. They have to grow up or we'll be 80 yrs old and still changing the diapers of 55 yr old adults. Can you imagine a 40 year old man begging his mother for juice? Or a 50 year old woman asking her mother to wipe her bottom because she dropped the toilet paper in the floor again? Ok, now I don't feel so bad about letting her become more independent...

But let's take it one step at a time. As I sat with the other parents in tiny orange chairs today (we were quite the sight!) I pictured Courtney growing up before my eyes. She was in high school and I was asking myself where the years had gone. It's times like that when I need to get back to reality and focus on the days I have right now. If I don't want her to grow up before I know it, then I'd better pay attention. Raising children, as someone once told me, is full of very long days and very short years. I want to enjoy the long days while I've got them. Then, when the years have gone by and I'm sitting at her high school graduation I can look back with few regrets, knowing that I she and I experienced her childhood together. 

I am so happy for my daughter. Transitions are often difficult, but I am excited about the adventure that lies ahead for her. I can't wait to see how much she grows over this next year in preparation for Kindergarten, and I look forward to witnessing her become the person God made her to be- as quickly or as slowly as He deems best.