Killing Flies...

"Courtney!" I called from the kitchen, "I need you to go out to the car and get your cheeseburger. Come and put it on the kitchen table. Make sure to close the door behind you." My four year old ran out to the car and grabbed what was left of her Happy Meal. I gave my one year old a banana, quickly put the peel on the table and continued running through the house emptying my arms after a morning out. Sippy cups, shoes, purse. Ah, finally. I thought. It's all put away. I returned to the kitchen and bumped the table with my hip as I passed. Suddenly a swarm of flies flew up from the banana peel, filling my dining room. Where did those come from?!? I looked toward the door that led to the garage- yep, open. Flies still streaming in. (Okay, okay. That's an exaggeration- but I did see one fly come through, not to mention those on the table.)

I ran for the fly swatter and began killing the little boogers. SMACK! "One!" ... SMACK!! "Two! Where is that other one??" I continued counting as I killed the flies. I was angry. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I was so tired? Maybe because this happens nearly every day? Nevertheless, I had had it, and killing them was like an outlet for my angst. "FIVE! SIX!! HA!" I worked my way up to number eight (not an exaggeration) and started hunting the last two.

Courtney lay in the floor with her newest McDonald's treasure and asked, "Mama, why are you counting them?" 

Hmmm. Why was I counting them? I know why: because in my mind each fly represented one more reason why she should have closed the door behind her. Here I was, fly-swatting and counting every right I had to be angry. Ooooh. I sensed a lesson coming.

Now, if I were to step back and look at this objectively, I could see that leaving the door open, while frustrating for me, was a genuine mistake on her part. She had her hands full and was so distracted by her new light-up toy that she simply forgot to shut the door. Not to mention she's only four. Ok, so in my right mind I would have just made her go shut it. Maybe time out or something small if I felt she needed it. Unfortunately, I was not in my right mind. I was in my sleepy, task-centered, feed the baby so he will stop screaming mind. So I started counting the flies.

(For the sake of this post, "flies" are the consequences of someone else's actions. We didn't ask for them, they just showed up. Sometimes they can buzz around for quite some time and we don't even notice them. Other times they're right up in our faces, crawling on our food and interrupting our lives.) 

I thought of the times I've done this on a larger scale to others in my life. Have you ever counted flies? Say a person cut you off. Instead of letting it go, blessing them and continuing on your way, you just start counting all of the ways they ruined your day. I have. What about a failed relationship? Yep. A conversation gone south? Yes. I've counted flies more times than I would like to admit.

What about with my kids? I counted flies when my oldest woke the baby, spilled the juice, left the garage door open. And 9 times out of 10 she was just being a kid. In fact, I even counted flies when my son was a newborn and would wake up every couple of hours to eat. *Sheesh!* 

People don't deserve our grudges.

You know, the thing about flies is that they need to be killed. If not, then they multiply- quickly. They bother everyone around. They are a pest- a nuisance- and if you ask me, they're just plain gross. But if you kill a fly and count it, then you choose not to forget it... so in essence, it lives on. You grant that fly eternal life in your psyche simply by choosing to count it. Same with our proverbial flies. If you choose to simply deal with the consequences of another person's actions and kill it in your own mind, it's gone. Forgive and forget.

(Now, hear me out that I realize there are much more dangerous consequences to some people's behavior- please seek help if you feel threatened in any way. I'm focusing this post more on the little day-to-day things.)

I heard someone say once that if you point a finger at someone there are always three fingers pointing right back at you (go ahead, point and see for yourself). Let's choose today to walk in forgiveness and let things go, instead of holding bitter grudges towards the people in our lives who leave the door open to those gross, little winged boogers. Kill the flies and move on. They (esp. the bitterness that surrounds them) don't deserve to live in our hearts. That place is reserved for God, family, flowers, butterflies and love. Why let a nasty old fly buzz around and throw up on your soul every time he lands?