Bad Mama...

I just finished one of the best burgers ever (and I made it at home, go figure)! Of course, I enjoyed it while reading blogs and checking Facebook and being a rather bad mama. I say this tongue-in-cheek, of course, because I know I'm not a bad mom. I just don't look like the Magazine Moms whose children look like models and clean their rooms and eat healthy butternut squash casseroles with fresh sprigs of something green on top. Here's what's going on at my house right now:

I just finished an A-mazing cheeseburger while my 4 yr old wasn't cleaning her room. She started on it over an hour and a half ago. It really wasn't very messy- just a few toys and a T-shirt and a hot-pink feather boa. The deal was that it had to be done before she could eat dinner. Seeing that the job would take me 11/2 minutes, I assumed it would take her about 15 minutes, thus an hour would be plenty of time. Nope. So I ate without her. (Bad mama!) Don't worry much about her, though. She can eat when her room is clean.

While I was eating, my 1 year old had a tray full of peas... which he thoroughly enjoyed smashing between his fingers and throwing onto the floor. So, since it was obvious he didn't like the peas, I gave him a few potato chips. (Bad mama!) What kind of mom gives her baby chips, anyway?!? Um, me. Yep- it's out. Stop the presses! I'm not perfect! In fact, while we're confessing here, let me tell you a few other bad Mama moments:

* Sometimes my kids go an entire day with no vegetables other than pizza sauce.

* I haven't signed my 4 year old up for dance, gymnastics, piano lessons or any other extra-curricular activity.

* I often pretend to listen to my four year old while thinking of something else. I listen just closely enough to pick up her tones and key words so that I know how to respond, but I'm really thinking of the grocery list, the  bills or how much I'd love to get on What Not To Wear so that I can get a whole new wardrobe for free.

* Sometimes I let my kid spend up to two hours playing on nickjr.com if I am watching a movie and don't want to be interrupted (*GASP!*)

* Sometimes I let my 4 yr old think she's lost if she wanders away at the store so I can teach her a lesson. (But I think she's on to me now because she doesn't get scared anymore.)

*Sometimes I even let my 1 yr old carry a sippy cup full of milk around the house all day (the dentist lectured me about this one).

Oh, I know. I know! Such a bad mom. If the parenting magazines had my picture I'd be the poster kid for what not to do. According to them, my kids are going to grow up to be unhealthy, emotionally unstable adults with no understanding of real boundaries, no social skills and no sense of self-worth. They'll most likely turn to drugs or join the circus to ease the pain of the handful of times I lost my temper. Goodbye college fund and hello therapy bills. Paying for their first year's sessions is the least I could do after messing them up so badly.

Alright, so I'm exaggerating. I really just want to say that none of us are perfect. We can't let the books and magazines haunt us with false expectations. I've cried my eyes out unnecessarily over the littlest teeny-tiny things, only to realize later that my child didn't even notice. Lean on God's grace and just be the mom God made you to be. Give yourself a break. Ask around- I know tons of great people whose parents were an absolute mess. They turned out just fine. So don't worry if you are so tired that you forget your child's name (been there) or if you blow up because you just cleaned the entire house only to go back to the living room and find goldfish crumbs and blue marker all over the couch (done that). Don't stress over the small stuff. enjoy your kids. Enjoy motherhood and be a bad mama from time to time without feeling guilty. I hereby give you permission to be normal.