Saturday, August 6, 2011

Changes...

My daughter has been begging for a baby girl. She tells God in her prayers that she would really really REALLY like Him to put one in my belly. Every time we shop she finds something for her new baby sister- clothes, toys, marshmallows, you name it. Let me set the record straight and let you all know that I am not pregnant, nor do I plan to be any time soon. My son just turned one yesterday, So I'm free and clear of all baby fever. Courtney, however, is obsessed... or, she was anyway.

We've been house hunting for over a year now. It's been rather frustrating- especially for Courtney, who has tagged along with me for 20 months now through snow, heat waves, spider webs and moth balls. It's been quite a ride.

Yesterday, on our way to see yet another home, Courtney asked why we were house hunting. I explained that if we have another baby we'll need more room. She is the kind of kid who has an answer for everything, so she devised the following plan: "The new baby can sleep in Matthew's crib and I can get a new big-girl bed!" Where would Matthew go? She didn't have an answer for that one. As she realized that a bigger family would  require a larger home, her obsession with babies fizzled away. "I don't want a new baby anymore." She explained that she changed her mind because she didn't want to move.

I totally get it- I'm the same way, in some respects. I love change when it's new and exciting and fun, but when that event causes a ripple effect, requiring more change, I lose interest. I love a new haircut, rearranging my furniture, a new car with a big red bow on it (hint, hint honey!), but the big changes take some getting used to.  They're the kind that send me running to God saying something like I had a plan! It was all going to work out just right. I know I've been begging for this, but I've changed my mind. I'm happy with things the way they are. But now that I think of it, the most amazing adventures of my life have all started with a risky, rippling change: job decisions, marriage, having children and more. And you know what? The ripples may have shaken things up a bit, but the water smoothed out eventually. Things went back to normal- a new normal- a better normal.

There are a few changes taking place in my life right now that I'm a bit nervous about- like house hunting, sending my 4 yr old to pre-K and my babies growing up... but I have to remember that the changes in my life are often the start of new adventures. I just hope I can face them with joy and boldness instead of losing interest, shutting myself off or telling God, "Thanks but no thanks!"

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